Thank you to all who sent me encouragement, love and prayers after my last blog entry. They were much needed and appreciated and I am happy to report that, after a little extra time, lots of quarters, an episode of Supper Nanny and yes, I am not ashamed to admit, a bottle or two of wine, things are coming together.
It all really came to a head the day after my last blog entry. It got pretty ugly inside my head and I really had made the decision that there may need to be a personnel change in the house. However, those who have doubts as to whether God sends a little help and guidance when you really need it are fooling themselves. But what you have to remember, is that the Almighty truly does have a twisted sense of humor! The weekend of the before mentioned tipping point was also a weekend that my husband and partner in this adventure, had to go out of town on business. Knowing that things were challenging at home, he was checking in a lot and well abreast of the boiling pot at home. We had decided to really sit down once he got home and really examine what our wants and needs were and what was best for the future of our family. We really felt over our heads. Well imagine my surprise when he walked thru the door with a new plan and attitude. Now don't laugh, at least not to hard, but it would seem that God saw fit to delay my husbands flight and while he was waiting in the hotel room, what show caught his eye but.......yes, the Supper Nanny. Having never watched the show before, he saw that Nanny herself was dealing with an extremely willful child. This got him thinking and by the time he came home, he was a man with a plan.
Now let me set the stage. ( I know that I promised not to tell on my Little Darling, but you really have to be able to appreciate the atmosphere in which the drama takes place.) First you must know that Little Darling and my husband have been waging a Cold War for about two weeks. To explain this would take more time than you have interest, just know that it was happening. My hubby came home from a business trip on Sunday afternoon and upon walking in, he received a warm welcome from the Little Pixie (my youngest) and my Peanut, ( our biological child) and of course a warm welcome from yours truly. HOWEVER, Little Darling got up from the coach, walked right by him, did not make eye contact and walked into the kitchen then opening the cupboard door and looking for a snack. If this was the Victorian England Era, I would say that it was a perfectly executed cut direct. Even the East German Judge could not dispute its perfection. So Hubby, armed with the yet to be disclosed to me new supper knowledge from Supper Nanny, proceeds to take her into the living room for a heart to heart. In all seriousness, it does go to show you what a little distance and divine intervention can do for your perspective. By the end of the conversation (most of which I was not privy to) de-taunt was not only achieved, but a serious peace treaty was reached. Little Darling would have a calendar placed in her room along with a jar. For every day that she was able to hold her defiance in check she received a check on the calendar and $.50 in her jar. At the end of the month, they would go and open a savings account and she could start saving for her Holly Grail, the I-Pod touch. Latter added, was a reward of one song off I-Tunes each Saturday if the entire week was filled with checks.
I have ALWAYS been a great fan of the behavior chart. I think it goes back to my 1st grade experience when I earned a hamster by staying put in my seat at school. (Apparently, this was an issue....)I have used them for every child I have had and why I did not think of it, I will never know. It must be because God knew that Hubby was the finally ingredient that needed to be adjusted to make the sauce come together.
So almost two weeks in, it is going VERY well. Keep in mind, I am not looking for perfection; I am a firm believer in realistic expectations. All I needed was the opportunity to show her what a "normal" (using the word loosely) family experience was like. What it is to respect others feeling, occasionally choose words carefully, DECIDE what is worth fighting over and what is being fought over just for the sake of the fight. Most importantly, a chance to show her what great things happen naturally, when you do show that kindness and respect to your family members.
Now, I am aware that the novelty of this will where off so we are already thinking of ways to stay one step ahead of Little Darling. So before the sauce gets to old and turns, we are setting things in place to try and preserve it. But in the mean time, the family is enjoying a period of tranquil chaos that is our "normal" existence. As for looking further down the road to the permanent family members we hope to have one day. Well, forget about it for now. Little Pixie and Little Darling have wormed there way into the family and into our hearts so we will keep them close while we have them and when it is time for them to go "home", well.................. hopefully God will be looking out for them and us then too.
Until next week.
No comments:
Post a Comment