Time, Time, Time, What has become of thee...?

First I must apologize, again, for the lapse in between posts. A funny thing happened, I have two more people in the house!

So much has happened and there is so much to talk about that I will put most of it off and instead discuss my newly thought out views on why it takes a full 18-21 years to raise a child.

About 3 1/2 years ago, a dear friend of mine adopted a newborn daughter. She and her husband already had a son but had difficulties adding to the family and so decided to adopt. Much like us, they spent months filling out paper work, getting checks done and jumping thru countless hoops only to then sit and wait for the call. When the call came, it was literally to come to the hospital, meet the baby and take her home the next day and at the time, I remember thinking wow! So much to do and so much to adjust to. There is a reason that God gives us 9 months to get ready for infants! Well, guess what, there is a reason that God gives up 5 years to get ready to send our kids to school!

We picked up our new girls on Tuesday and I had them enrolled in school by Thursday. In that 48 hour period of time I: picked up, went thru and organized there life's paper work, registered them on line, went to the district office to continue to register them there, went to the school and finished up there, bought school supplies, school clothes, set them up for the lunch program (more paperwork and thanks to the government, it is still not finished) and get them school tours (two different schools). Additionally, I fought with the transportation department because they did not think it was a bad thing to a) give me the wrong address for the bus stop and b) move up the drop off time by 10 minutes and not tell anyone. My 1st grader who had lived with us for less then 2 days went to get off the bus and we were not there. Thankfully, she told the bus driver that she had no idea how to get home. They end up calling my cell phone to ask why I was not at the bus stop to pick up my child. SO, do you THINK that I was irate! But, hey, water under the bridge. Everyone is in school and good to go, so I should be able to breath, right?

Hah! Keep dreaming! Now we are on to level two on the lists of priorities I must accomplish. Now I must do ALL the laundry that they brought including washing any toys etc. I must mention, that both my girls had been staying with relatives and had a lot of stuff. Most did not fit, hey , according to the workers, they were situated. HMMMMM...... different definitions, obviously. So, 4 days in I am still up to my eye balls in laundry as my machine has decided to break, my house looks like a hurricane hit it and the "honeymoon" ends. I have a sleep walking 1st grader who starts crying at midnight. This is fine, as it gives me a chance to stretch my mommy muscles some, however by Saturday I felt like a truck hit me. I swear, I have not been that tired since my Peanut was an infant! And of course, did I mention that I have an additional hormonal preteen girl in the house now? So much drama!!!! My poor husband............

But over all, we all start to settle in well and get into a routine. Great, right? NOT! Lets just say I am starting to dread the calls and e-mails from the social worker. They all seemn to start with, "somthing important you need to do"; I now have weekly therapist appointments for the two girls, visitation appointments with their parents, phone calls to schedule, dentist appointments that must be made, optomistrsts to find, permission to be gain to get hair cuts, (yes you have to ask the biological parents if it is okay to get a hair cut) and the list goes on. It really brings home the fact that we are simply guardians of these children. Four days in, we did receive word that reunification was imminent. Oh yea, and by the way, I do have to make time for my other two children and teach karate at night. (Which thankfully our new children love)

Now, you people who have been blessed with large families are laughing at me right now, and justifiably so. But it brings me back to my earlier point of having prep time. 9 months for a baby, a life time for you children. Because while playing catch up with all the material and physical stuff that must get done, you are trying to build a relationship, sense of trust, a bond of some sort, not to mention just figuring out what kind of snacks they like in their lunch.

So yes, I am still REALLY tired. But not always in a bad way. I get to play with crayons and read bedtime stories again, I get to share my love of reading with someone who really did not like it at all, and I get to be a hero and let my oldest think she is getting away with something because I let her sneak downstairs after bedtime with me to watch her favorite TV show. Little do they all know that those little things probably make me happier then them.

Well, I guess that brings me back to the title of my piece to day, Time..... I think that with all the involvement the State and Federal Government now has in my life, that the least they could do is extend the 24 hour day to 30. At least I will only be a little bit behind then. But until then, I will just stock up on Diet Coke and enjoy my new bedtime.....mid-nightish.

I will post again soon. REALLY! Thanks again for all the well wishes and support.

We only went to meet them..........

Really, we did. Honestly, my hubby and I planned, developed strategies, put together lists of questions and steeled out hearts. Really, we did.

Yes, we came home with the girls.

It was a done deal from the moment the oldest made eye contact with my hubby. Hollywood could not written the scene any better. There we were in the waiting room of the Department of Human Services, waiting for the social worker to come get us and for the girls to show up. I am searching for the worker and my husband was sitting there. Then a little blond head peaked around a pole, made eye contact with cute hazel eyes and smiled. Now we did ask the right questions and tried to stay objective, but really, that was it. Thankfully, my Peanut is REALLY happy about this and the 3 of them are in a beautiful honeymoon period of bliss.

So I am going to keep this entry short as I have a GILLION things to get accomplished before the night ends for me. This will be a long and interesting week so please keep us in your prayers!

Blog at you all tomorrow,
ET

And we're off.........................

So, first I have to thank everyone for the most encouraging notes! Sometimes in our lonely cyber world, it is easy to forget just how many friends you have. And really, it is all of you that will make this adventure easier and a little less daunting.

So with that said, we have a meeting. Yes, we are off to meet our two girls on Tuesday. I must say, I am doing EVERYTHING possible to keep my expectation grounded. This is not easy. Let me just say, when you go for foster parenting training (yes, there is training) they do all they possibly can to hammer it into our heads that we absolutely, positively will not have an Orphan Annie, "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow", experience. They are relentless about it and truly, while they are so grateful to have you there, they do nearly everything they can to scare you off. I guess it is the prepare for the worst, hope for the best theory on steroids. However, while I know that I need to stay grounded lower then the Grand Canyon, I can't help but day dream just a little.......

Along those lines, I must say, that while this manor of enhancing and expanding a family may be a little different, I am noticing more than a few similarities to the other two time I was getting ready to become a parent. The most glaring one right this minute is NESTING! I don't care how you are bringing a child into a family or what kind of family it is, this is turning out to be a universal for me.

When I was getting married and my (step) son was going to be my son full time, what did I do? Paint his room, rearrange the house, bought furniture, new linens, stuffed animals and books, pictures......... I was going to have a great space for him to grow up in!

When I found out I was pregnant with my Peanut, once again, off to the races! Picked out boarder, paint, motifs, and all the baby stuff I could muster. Once again, I was going to have a great space for her to grow up in.

Well, once again, here I am. I painted, rearranged, rearranged again, and again. I think all the rearranging was because there is little else to do. Going into it, I had no idea the sex, age, likes etc of the child or children that we would be bringing into our home (or frankly the permanency of the arrangement) So I keep shifting stuff around, adding, subtracting and once again, rearranging. But in the mist of all of it, it does give me a chance to reflect. (And plan revenge on my family that keeps making fun of me for rearranging AGAIN) In those reflections, I think this is what I have come up with; nesting is my way taking a break from all the worry of the enormity of impending parenthood and focus on the fun things to come. It is a moment to not think about character development but about crafts at the kitchen table. It is a moment to table college funds and think about pictures on the first day of school and where to hang them. Most importantly, it is a chance to forget about the overwhelming lifetime commitment you are making and focus on the here and now and joy of it. I think that this is universal to all parents, all of us. It is a moment when anything and everything is possible and the future is just that, the future.

So this weekend, I will ONCE AGAIN, be rearranging the bedrooms and shuffling furniture. I will be trying to be practical all the while, day dreaming about the future. Who knows, the children may not like us, we may not think they are a good fit, it all may come crashing down around our heads come Tuesday. But this Labor Day weekend, it is all about nesting....... and possibilities.

See you Tuesday!